Last week I had some very low, blue days, ones where I slipped back into feeling sorry for myself.
It’s always something simple, in this case another cold. For whatever reason, colds make my emotional balance get off course. Combined with non stop cloudy days, I get moody and weepy. I ache all over and am unable to get to my yoga practice or go on my longer walks. Exercise is imperative for my emotional health.
Then I went on SM, which when I am feeling down, I should never do, as it can trigger my left out feelings, that I still struggle with from time to time. I long to be included in some groups, but I will always be on the fringes. Most of the time, I can accept that, however when I am sick, I get stuck in the poor me mentally.
By focusing on my hurts, I make myself a victim, and hold an unenforceable rule. The rule I try to make happen, even when I have no power to make it happen is, “Everyone I know must invite me to everything.” (Just even writing this makes me giggle.) By telling myself this, I create a grievance story.
“A grievance is created when we take a normal life event that is painful, make it very personal as opposed to something that just happened, and then exaggerate how personal it is. Then we practice this pattern over and over, and forget that there are other ways of looking at the same situation.”
(I wrote a post about Grievance Stories, here.)
I also know there is a real connection between getting sick and low moods. I know because I googled it! Lol When I feel better, I am able to process things, and let them go faster.
This is how I got unstuck from those low moods.
I got out and walked a little bit when I could. I went to dinner with friends, and had coffee with another. Even with my low energy I did what I could. I went to an all day yoga conference, where I only knew a few teachers, but met wonderful souls, and had some wonderful experiences. I reached out to my Twitter friends on the #recoveryposse, and discovered there were others feeling low.
I read more from my favorite book, Forgive For Good, by Dr. Fred Luskin.
I reminded myself that I am so loved, even by the people I wish to be included with! I also reminded myself to look at the rules that I think everyone needs to follow, and realize we each operate under our own set of rules. My idea of a friend is different than your idea!
On the day of the yoga conference, my spirits soared. People were so open! I tried tribal yoga, and had a gong sound bath. I hugged many people all day, most of them strangers.
Yesterday, after Mr. UT and I went for a long walk, and stopped for a dessert and coffee, my balance was restored. Feeling much better from my cold, I know these feelings, and I know they will pass.
With Mr. UT bugging me to hurry up so I get to yoga,
On Day 1972,
PS – I tried the silks, but that photo is not me! I got sick to my stomach going upside down! LOL