I have been gaining weight, due to having to go off hormone replacement therapy. It’s been mostly in my stomach area. It does not come off like it used to. Stubborn fat. Delayed menopause. Well, THIS is fun!!
Now, of course I complained to people, and here are their responses:
Regular Doctor, “Yup, you’ve got the menopausal pouch. Only surgery will get rid of it.” (At least she’s straight to the point! LOL)
OBGYN, “Oh, so many women tell me this. It will only last 2 years.” (She was sympathetic.)
Loving Husband, “Stop eating so much!” (But he still looks at me with google eyes when I’m naked, LOL!)
Older Sister, “It’s about time!” (That’s what sisters are for!)
95 Year Old Mom, “I remember those days.” (She still goes to 3 exercise classes a week.)
Friend, “You look amazing!” (She is beautiful and very fit.)
Now it’s been hard to fight the urge to be mad at myself. I used to be very heavy, and my shame and hatred at my body was immense. When I started suddenly gaining this weight, I started to slip into the body hatred feelings. (You can read more about this on a former post.) However, I have decided, that at 66 years old, I will not do this anymore.
I am accepting that I am not alone with this type of weight gain. When I look around at other older women, most of them carry more weight. I see so many different body shapes at yoga. I am accepting that this is what my body is doing right now.
Acceptance doesn’t mean I can eat anything in any amount I want, or laze around all day. But it comes from a place of love for myself, rather than a place of hate.
Exercise helps me feel better, even if I am heavier. I have started lifting light weights again, and I stand taller and feel stronger. Yoga helps me immensely. Even heavier, my body is aligned better due to my yoga practice. Taking long walks, or hikes, is helpful as well, and it good for my soul.
My goal is to keep the weight gain as minimal as I can, without hating myself by over exercising, or limiting calories so much I’m starving.
I look at the lives of the women I know and love who are heavier. Some have had children, and now have grandchildren. Some worked to support themselves or their families. Some have written books, made movies, sang, danced. Some have walked across the world helping other women. Some have lost sons and daughters. Some have cared for other people, like nurses and teachers.
Does extra fat mean they are not beautiful? Do they not deserve love? Do they deserve body shame?
I bought a bigger pair of jeans, and thank goodness for the newer stretchy jeans! Woo Hoo! I will walk with dignity and joy today. Muffin top and all, I won’t cover myself up. In fact I am proud I have come so far, have helped so many children, making my last years of life a loving place for myself, my husband, and all those people I touch.
With Gratitude for How Hard my Body Works,
On Day 1843,
PS – We went to Martha’s Vineyard on a vacation! We had so much fun, and I never had even one urge to drink!