Today I have been sober for five years! Mr. UT and I both agree life is better.
I just came back from a long weekend up in Northern Minnesota, staying at cabins with good friends. It’s always been a hard weekend for me, because of people drinking. Not that anyone gets crazy drunk, because they don’t, but it’s around all the time.
The last time I got drunk at the cabins, I was a mess. I was overemotional, because I had lost so much hearing, and couldn’t participate in many conversations in a group. I drank tons of red wine, got moody, and isolated myself in my cabin. Ugh. It was not fun.
This year, I hiked, I drove the small motor boat, I jumped in the freezing cold lake, I went into the small town, and I took photos of the beautiful country up here! I was able to hear so much more due to my cochlear implants! I tried not to isolate too much, but sometimes all the talking just gets tiring. My friends are the best, though! They understand and help me!
I was way more fun to be with! Life is better. I wish I had great wisdom to share, but I don’t really. I just know I can’t drink because it never ends with one or two. I know I need support, and Mr. UT stopped drinking to support me. My blogger friends, #recoveryposse Twitter friends, friends I have here in Minneapolis, and my family, are my biggest supporters ever! Even when I don’t talk to people for a while, I know that I can count on many to help me if I were to find myself in trouble, wanting to drink. I am not alone. So many people struggle with addiction.
Life is better. I don’t drive drunk, I don’t argue as much, (remember I am married, lol), my depression is manageable, my anxiety is so much better, I am just happier. Most days I don’t think about alcohol at all. Yes, there are a few times I long for that drink, but I know how to let them pass.
I am still struggling with a bit of fall blues, but getting outside helps the most with this. So walking with Mr. UT is on the agenda today!
I wrote this poem after taking photographs on our walk:
Red and yellow leaves get all the attention,
From fall lovers and photographers,
Crunching over brown ones,
We cry out for the perfect fall color,
Never slowing down to see the beauty
In shades of brown.
Coffee bean, cinnamon, sienna,
How rich in flavor and color are these!
Look again for the subtle gems of autumn,
Look again for the softer shades of life.
With coffee delivered to me in bed by Mr. UT,
On day 1826,