45 Months…Still Learning

Dear Readers,

“Comrades”; On the Milwaukee River Walk

I have learned so much from other people who are in recovery or who struggling to get sober in these last 45 months.

When I read sober blogs, listen at meetings, read books on sobriety, or read tweets, I am learning.
The trick is to keep an open mind, and listen, so I can hear what people are saying.

We are tied together by our humanity. We can get sober alone, but we don’t have to. That is so important to me. I need to know that if I am struggling with a drinking thought, I can text or tweet someone and get support.

We all have problems. No one is immune. Mental health problems, marriage or relationship problems, sickness, deaths, losses, there is no way to escape.
I learn from other people how they cope with all of these without using a drink to take away the pain. 

Meditation, talking things through with a sober buddy or sponsor, writing, therapy, are just some of the many tools I see recovery people use to not only get and stay sober, but to learn a new way to cope with life problems. 

There isn’t one way to recover. There are as many ways as there are people.
I chose a kitchen sink approach and did everything I could think of so I would be accountable. 

It’s hard work. I couldn’t wish myself sober. 
It started with acceptance. I finally saw I couldn’t drink anymore, as I was only causing pain for myself and hubs.

Tulips at our Arboretum!

Feelings and bad situations rarely last all day. There are times I feel really energetic, and in an hour be so tired. I find most people are like this!

There is shame and guilt in addiction, and I have learned they will hurt me, if I let them. Amends, self-forgiveness and time have all helped soften these pains.
I see people come back after a slip or relapse suffering from shame. I had a three year relapse and few slips, but I never gave up. Self-forgiveness was key after my last slip.

There is joy, fun, and laughter in recovery. None of my sober friends are somber people! They are happy they found peace from addiction, made amends with people they love, and are free. They swear, they dance, they live life with gusto.

I know this is what I feel every day! (Not that my life is all that exciting. LOL)

People in recovery are so grateful. They make gratitude lists. Each day they awake sober, they are grateful. They are grateful for the people who stuck with them. I know I am grateful every day I don’t drink, and I am so grateful every day for all that I have. There are so many people in the world without a home, food, or water. 

People in recovery want to help other people find their path. They show the way, by sharing what has helped them. In meetings, in a blog, on Twitter, FB, there are so many ways we can help other people.

I just share my small slice of life here, and want to show other people what was given to me…

Hubs and Me!

Hope and Faith
I learned hope and faith from all the bloggers, from Women for Sobriety, from my AA meetings, and this last year, from Twitter. 
It takes a giant leap of faith to trust that life sober is better. Much better!

I thank all the people who have helped me, and continue to help me on this journey.
And I especially thank my dear hubs! 

On Month 45,
Day 1370,

With Love,

28 thoughts on “45 Months…Still Learning

  1. This is awesome Wendy 🙂 I've been struggling for a few months and reading this post really helps, I like your \”kitchen sink approach\” It describes the techniques I've been used to keep going forward! BTW, you and Mr. UT just seem to radiate love & happiness! xx


  2. You have been my \”one\” main supporter, (there are others, but you have been there from the beginning) who has given me sound, non-judgmental, advice. And always with a tone of kindness in sharing your viewpoint. But most importantly, you make me feel special. Thank you for being “you”. xoxo, ll


  3. I love this post!!! Thanks so much for sharing. I know that I tried to get sober SO MANY TIMES on my own, and for someone/something else. And lo and behold, I may have stayed sober for awhile, but the healing part of sobriety never kicked in. I don't think it was until I completely accepted that I was an alcoholic (and that it's OK) and wanted something different for ME, and I reached out to other sober humans (online and AA) that the magic started happening. Yes, I still have shitty days. But I am so grateful that I am sober through each and every one. Thanks for your wonderful message, Wendy! Many hugs to you!!!


  4. Yes. The open mindedness is vital. Because things always change and what works today might not work forever.I’m dealing with serious issues with my 13 year old daughter. It’s prompted me to strengthen my own supports while I try to support her as well.This is outside my comfort zone, but I know will be useful in the long run.Hugs.Anne


  5. I am very sorry to hear about your daughter. I know my sister with her 6 children went through some hard times. Support for yourself is essential. Extra hugs to you, Anne. xo❤️


  6. Yes to everything you wrote here.We are all human. Allowing ourselves the same consideration we give to others is vital. That’s our connection. We are all the same.Stillness and peaceAnne


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