I haven’t posted much lately, so I thought I would just catch up with you, and tell you where my thoughts, feelings and body have been!
A few weeks ago, I was feeling a bit manic, crying easily, and having stronger urges to drink that I was keeping alive for too long. I had been trying to cut down on my anti-depressant, and I know that is the reason I was feeling that way. I went back up to my normal amount and feel really good ever since.
I have been on these drugs for so many years, I think my brain just needs them now.
When I had those thoughts, I told my Twitter friends, so that I wouldn’t keep the hidden and get support. (You can find me on Twitter at @untipsyteacher.)
It’s very important to my recovery to be open about any thoughts I have about drinking. No more hiding!
I also had some really hard times with food triggers, and my weight has been all over the place. Pizza and salty foods are the worse, and once I start having those, I can’t stop eating. I started night binging for a couple of days.
I am realizing that for some reason, at this time, I have to have some abstinence with certain foods. I am learning to carry fruit and seeds with me for snacks, so I don’t get too hungry. Maybe it’s because I am old..er, (LOL), and my body has changed, but salt seems to wreck havoc with me.
But that too has calmed down, and I started eating way more fruits and veggies and whole grains, and just a bit of chicken or eggs, and I feel so much better.
In other big news, I went in to the University of Minnesota, to talk to them about getting a second cochlear implant. I qualify with no problem, so I am waiting to see if my insurance company will cover it.
I really want to be able to hear with my other ear, and from all I read, people are happier and can hear better with bilateral implants.
There are a few concerns about having the operation, of course, as I could get dizziness which is usually temporary, and the little bit of natural noises I can hear will be lost.
Hubs and I are good! We are going to a fun art and music festival tonight!
We continue to take walks, and last week went on our first bike ride!
I get to yoga about 2 times a week, and take myself out walking on other days.
I am golfing.
My body seems strong.
Recovery is joyful for me! I know without a doubt, I would not be as happy as I am today, think as clearly as I do, if I was still drinking.
When I lost my hearing, and music, I turned to taking nature photos. I just use my phone, but I love seeing all the colors, shapes, and patterns in nature.
So I am posting a few of my favorite for you today.
Please feel free to tell me how you are doing, and I thank all of you who are reading, and sending love to all of you who are struggling.
With Colors of Spring,
On Day 1352,