|Stanley Island, Vancouver|
Mr. Ut and I went away for a vacation in Vancouver, Canada, and we had a wonderful time!
However, since I have been back, I have been struggling with a little more anxiety. That in turn leads to some depression.
In this case, I know some of the reasons why, where as in the past, I was often not able to articulate the causes.
I am having to switch insurance, and going on Medicare plus a supplemental plan. It is very complicated, and will cost quite a bit more than I am currently paying. I feel unsettled. I know I will feel better when I have been to see a doctor and see that all of this will work out.
I also have been watching too much political news, and I am again feeling very anxious at what I have no control over. I want to act when I can, but I know I have no control over most of what is going on.
|We walked across this suspension bridge.|
It has been very gray here, and I had a bit of a cold which kept me from being as active as I need to be in order to help lessen the feelings of anxiety.
All of these things combined to create some anxious feelings.
Now I KNOW what helps, but do you think I do that? Not always.
The things that help me are praying for other people suffering, exercise, making dates with friends, deep breathing throughout the day, volunteering, and drinking less coffee. I also know that these things will pass, so I sit with a bit of anxious feelings.
Why is it so hard to do what we know will help us? There are a billion books written about this, but when it comes right down to it, it’s up to me to do what I need to do. This takes work, and there are times I just don’t have the energy to do this.
When that happens, I must be extra careful not to get angry at myself.
Yesterday was extra hard. I posted on Twitter, and the Recovery Posse helped me by supporting me as well as making me laugh.
I got myself to a meeting, met a friend for coffee, and although I didn’t want to, I got to a yoga class.
Hubs was awesome, because he didn’t try to fix things. (Well, he did suggest I cut down on caffeine!) He just reassured me all will be well.
|Mr. and Mrs. UT|
Today I got to my favorite coffee shop where I met my sponsee and wrote this post. Still anxious, but just moving anyway. Yard work, laundry, all keep me grounded.
Still, I feel hopeful. I have had these feelings before, so I am not afraid of them. There are so many beautiful quotes on hope, but this one spoke to me today.
“Wherever my story takes me, however dark and difficult the theme, there is always some hope and redemption, not because readers like happy endings, but because I am an optimist at heart. I know the sun will rise in the morning, that there is a light at the end of every tunnel.” Michael Morpurg
Today I pray for all those who are suffering with anxiety and depression. I hope your pain is a bit less today.
On Day 1393,