Up, Down, All Around

Dear Readers,
I am sorry I have been absent from the blogging world for a little while.
I think I just needed a break for a bit.
But not to worry, I am still here!

Centennial Lakes

Most of my time away has been good.
Mr. UT is good. 
His labs came back as precancerous, but not cancer.
So he will have to go back in 6 months for another check up, but the doctor seemed happy overall.
I have been reading books, going to yoga, and going for long walks with a friend and Mr. UT.
I am still loving my volunteer job and going to meetings.

Our fall season has been beautiful, and I can’t help but show you a few photos I took of this season in our city.

Last Night! 

But I have been struggling with a few things.
Fall can be a tricky season.

With fall comes parties, and with parties come the thoughts of wishing I could drink.
I won’t drink, but the thoughts still come.
Just the last few days have been hard.
The most important thing I have learned about thoughts about drinking is to tell someone about them. I don’t keep them hidden, so I can stay accountable. 

With fall comes fading light, and with fading light, comes some low energy and isolation for me. I find I am spending time watching endless election news, which makes me upset.
I am isolating a little bit.
I know I should reach out, but tend to sit in pajamas and veg out.
I am also playing way too many computer type games, for way too long.

I have also been struggling with insomnia. I have been so tired, and that makes my thinking and my mood so low.
I have tried magnesium, cutting back on caffeine, computer time, all the things I am supposed to do, but sleep eludes me. That makes me miss golfing, and some of my favorite yoga times, as I can’t get up early enough. It makes it hard for me to read or post on blogs.
The one thing that does seem to help is walking outside, in the daylight, for at least 45 minutes.
The problem is, I can’t make myself do this by myself.
So unless my friend can go with me, I don’t go.

I think on my strong days, I need to shore up more support for myself. I can set dates to meet people at meetings, for coffee, or for exercise. That way, I won’t have to think of doing this on a gray day when my energy is low. 

Today I made it to yoga, am writing this post, and will read as many blogs as I can this weekend. 
We have a small dinner party tonight, with all of our good friends.
It’s so nice out, I am even wearing flip flops!

Big Hugs to All,
On Day 779,

18 thoughts on “Up, Down, All Around

  1. I absolutely dread daylight savings time. I am depressed as soon as the sun begins to go down at 4:30. I really struggle to stay connected with people during this time. I isolate as well because it's easier than driving around in the cold dark to whatever I have scheduled. I'm not sure what to do different this year. Walking helps tremendously, but I have the habit of skipping that when it gets cold. Please pass along any survival techniques that you discover. Wish we could meet for coffee. ; )


  2. Sorry to hear about your struggles, some of it sounds very real and familiar to me. I get SAD seasonal affective disorder quite severely and I NEED to use a SAD lamp daily first thing in the morning to help me through the darker days. It hits me around mid September and if I haven't turned on my light by Oct 1st I can hit al most bottom. Also have your Vit D levels checked. I take a 10,000 iu supplement a day living in dark old England. You can get the lamps on Amazon from about £50 and all you need to make sure is they have a minimum of 10,000 LUMENS. Sorry for the lecture.I am glad to hear Mr UT has been given encouraging news and I hope this proves to be One and Done regarding further intervention.Take care Wendy and do try and get a lamp and get up at an early hour make a cup of tea/coffee and sit in bed for 30 minutes with your SAD lamp on. It works wonders for me and I hope it would make a change for you too.


  3. Hi Wendy, I'm so sorry you're struggling…I know I'm not long term sober like you are but omg I totally get the isolating. Its my worst enemy. I really hope you can find new ways to deal with the party season and the reduced daylight hours. Hugs :-)Waking up


  4. In the trenches with you. We will dig ourselves out together. You are not alone and you're doing a great job GOAL'ing, even when you don't want to. Glad your husband has good health news. That is surely a relief. All my best, SQ


  5. Hi Wendy 🙂 Sending much love and support your way and hoping Mr. UT is doing okay. It sounds like his doctor is on top of things. When I feel a little low, I like listening to/watching comedy, particularly Brian Regan's special \”Standing Up\”. Jim Gaffigan is pretty good, too. Thinking of you. :)<3


  6. I really like that GOAL acronym, thanks to the poster above! I was going to say being outside in the daylight too. Wish I could come and walk with you past those beautiful views, both of us in our flip flops! Prim xx


  7. Haven't been around for awhile or visited, but happy to read you're doing well (you and the hubs). Yoga is great I just love it, hot yoga?? That's what I do, never done the normal yoga before. Hope all is well! xo jess


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