|My Dad and I at my Wedding!|
Yoga often brings up some powerful memories and feelings.
One time, a year after my dad had passed, I broke down sobbing in a class.
This morning during class, I suddenly remembered I had a drinking dream last night.
I don’t remember all of the details, but I do remember some of the feelings.
I was inside some sort of building, and I was with another person that I knew.
I remember I was feeling frustrated and anxious.
There was a cupboard with alcohol in it.
The other person and I got it out.
I think it was whisky or something like that.
I poured a drink, and put it on a counter.
At some point I put the drink back in the cupboard, without drinking it.
Then, all of a sudden, my dad was standing next to me, and told me he was proud of me for putting it back.
When my dad was alive, he struggled with his drinking, especially later in his life.
My brother, sister and I were lucky that his drinking didn’t effect us growing up.
We had much fun going camping, golfing, skiing, all because my dad loved to learn new things, and he taught us the love of learning.
But after we had all married and moved out, his drinking really increased.
It was not fun for my mom, or the family when we gathered at special occasions.
He had classic alcoholic behavior….hiding bottles, getting drinks for family so he could sneak drinks in the kitchen, behavior changes from nice to mean.
He couldn’t stop, and didn’t want outside help.
He tried to quit on his own, but that didn’t work.
It was only after he developed Parkinson’s disease that he was able to cut down.
I do not like drinking dreams, and I am so lucky I have had only a few.
They make me anxious just thinking about them.
So it’s no wonder I pushed the dream away, and it didn’t remember it until my yoga practice.
But they also can teach me.
This dream reminded me that I used to drink when I was frustrated about work.
I’d work myself up to be very angry or resentful and then drink to calm myself down.
The dream told me that my dad really did want to quit, but he just didn’t know how.
And that he loved me.
Today, hubs and I are going shopping, although the sun is shining and it’s so pretty outside, we might need to change plans and go biking!
With Much Love,
On Day 758,