Accepting Physical Imperfections

Dear Readers,

I looked in the mirror the other day, and realized my chin now has loose skin, which makes me look like I have a double chin, especially when I wear turtlenecks. I don’t like it! I used to have a great looking chin and neck. I also have other sagging body parts that happen when you are close to 70 years old.

My Turned in Left Eye

I am also heavier than I would like to be. Having been heavy and thin, I definitely prefer being thin.

I have a few more physical imperfections, (and I don’t like that word, maybe the word “differences” would be better). I have a very turned in left eye that I was born with, so people don’t know which way I am looking. Back in the olden days, all they did was put an eye patch on, which didn’t work. The eye difference is pointed out by children, who ask me “Why are you looking that way?” Adults seem to be able to figure out which eye to look at.

When I started to go deaf, I first got hearing aids, then later cochlear implants. Now the implants sit on either side of my head, which causes some people to stare a bit. Children of course come right out and ask, “What are those?”

Cochlear Implant

I alway had a lisp, because of being born with a slight hearing loss, and both children and adults would comment on that. Children of course ask, “Why do you talk funny?” 

I admit these are little differences compared to people who have suffered from major burns, scars, or other physical markings on their face and body. 

However, I have learned many things over the course of my life about accepting my turned eye, my hearing and my speech. The most important of these was that I have and give love. I have a loving husband, family, and friends. No one will remember me because one eye looked crossed, but they will remember that I was kind.

I also taught people about my differences. When I was teaching I told each new class why I had hearing aids, talked the way I did, and why my eye turned. I teach adults all the time about how cochlear implants work. Even when I go to the store or the coffee shop, if I can’t hear, I teach the clerks. (A short lesson! LOL)

Exercise helped with accepting, as it helps my overall mental health. Dressing nicely helped my mental health as well.

I looked for role models, such as Hellen Keller. Her teachings were so important to me in my early days of going deaf. 

So now, what do I do about the physical changes I see as I get older? Do I save money and get a chin lift? Then what about the bags under my eyes? What about all the creepy skin on my arms and legs? Where do I stop? Do I use my money for these things or to go on a wonderful trip somewhere. Do I want another operation, knowing I’ve had fourteen operations in my life for other more important reasons?

Everyone and everything gets old. There is nothing I can do to change that. Obviously, I need to use the same lessons I learned with my eye, ears and speech, and apply them to my aging body. Dressing nicely helps me feel my best. My 96 year old mom loved having a pretty outfit on. My exercise program of walking, yoga, lifting weights is a must, and continues to be the backbone of my enjoying life. Looking for role models like Jamie Lee Curtis, are also on my list. I have many family and friends who are role models as well. What do they have in common? They have love and give love. They work, live, play and laugh. They help other people. This is what I need to focus on. 

With A Turtleneck, 

Because Minnesota is Cold,

On Day 3057,

Wendy

We made a snow house which I learned is called a quinzhee.

35 thoughts on “Accepting Physical Imperfections

  1. True beauty comes from within; and you have an abundance of true beauty just the way you are. Thank you for sharing your feelings on aging. I hit 60 on my last birthday. I, too, see all the things you mentioned happening to me. And at times, I catch my younger self in a mirror and think, “what happened to her”? But a true badge of living a good, productive, long life is the sagging, wrinkles and bags, the wear and tear of using our bodies. Best thing I know for looking youthful and spy, a BIG SMILE! And you have that one down just right! Love your writings!
    xo -Lia

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I have never personally met you however your love and kindness radiate through your blogs here and IG posts! You always make me smile! 😃 My sister in law just got cool sculpting done on her belly. ( We are both about the same age, 49&50. ) Now her belly is so much tighter and she’s wearing crop tops and 2 piece bathing suits. I envy her but also remind myself I did gain 61lbs for my first pregnancy and 50 for my second. Plus I carried it all in the belly until the last couple months. I do think no amount of exercise will leave my belly like hers. Would I get cool sculpting done if I had the money? I don’t know. It does remind me of the 2 wonderful girls I carried. I think your beautiful inside and out! I love your adventures and walks! That coffee hut is freaking awesome! That so makes me want to play in the snow but our snow here in NY is not the fun packing snow. Freezing rain yesterday has left it all hard. Anyway, thank you for being you! You brighten more people’s lives than you know. ❤️

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    1. Jacquelyn! I sure think of you the same way! You are delightful!
      Also, I’ve had a bit of little things done to my face, like Botox, but it takes so much money. It’s extra hard seeing so many women in the media look so good. Like Jane Fonda, she definitely has had a lot of work done. But in the end, when you and I see our older friends in their 90’s, what makes them happy?
      That’s what I’m trying to remember as more things start sagging I can’t “fix”.
      ❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes! Clothes, exercise, role models, role modeling!!! And kindness, brightness, humor, beauty, and love. Thinking about those legions of children to whom you introduced your hearing aids, your turned eye, and your speech features makes me so happy. Wow what an impact on a LOT of minds, them and then the people they’ve interacted with over the years. XO Adrian

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  4. Thank you so much for sharing this, Wendy. I’ve been struggling with my looks lately and the aging process. You are beautiful inside and out! I always enjoy reading your honest posts. Sending hugs, peace, and love to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s more of a struggle seeing so many older women in the media who have had so much work done. I’m trying to shift my thinking, and as I leave the house, thinking how I can make someone smile today! Thank you, Natalie!
      ☃️⛸️☕️❤️

      Like

  5. That is such an amazing snow hut! How fun. Maybe we will try one now that we live in the snow. I hear you on the getting older/body image thing. I think all women relate because of the unrealistic expectations put on us. You are truly a lovely person and so kind. Like everyone else said. That’s real beauty. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s so true that your happiness and playfulness shine through all of your pictures and posts, and I am so glad the loved ones around you get to you’ve you and receive your love in return 🙂 you are beautiful Wendy ! ♥️♥️♥️ thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Your radiance and beauty shine through on your photos Wendy! Beauty is so much more than looks. A friend of mine said that she didn’t mind getting older as what was the alternative? I think ‘old’ is as much a state of mind as an age. I’ve met youthful people in their 80s and old 20 year olds! Keep playing and enjoying yourself! 💕💕

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Super cool quinzhee!
    Ugh there’s no good answer to the beauty standards, it’s inescapable. Even for a hippie like me. I always try to think to myself “does it matter to me what my friends look like”? No, not at all, it matters how they act and how I feel being around them. So why should I care so much about how I look?
    Side note – it is easier to not care being down here in tropical land – there is so much skin showing of all types, and everyone has beach hair and is sweaty. I love it!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This ageing thing is so tough and I watch these young girls in their 20s and younger already having their faces changed with Botox and fillers .. if only they knew the longer game eh?

    You are so very beautiful Wendy and I wish some of the children and adults I work with could harness some of your wonderful attitude regarding looking and sounding different. It is truly priceless and I am full of admiration for you. I also wish I had just a teeny morsel of ‘Wendy’ in my soul because it is truly something we would all benefit from.

    Lovely, honest, raw post my friend. Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Yep. Aging is an interesting fucking journey. LOL I was always super active up until my 40’s. I had the abs, all the other muscles, resting heart rate of about 35, warmed up with a 2-3 mile run, etc. Then, my body started kind of falling apart due to genetics and all the extreme exercise I had done up to that point. Now I have a dad bod, I’m 50 lbs heavier than I ever thought I would be, and I exercise based on what my body can now handle at 54 with arthritis and old injuries. Good for you lifting weights, walking, and yoga! That covers all your bases. Keep it up and thanks for all the great posts! You inspire me!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh no! Sorry to hear about the possible surgery. But at the same time, if it can make it better, that’s a good thing. Yes, keep moving any way we can! I agree. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I have been reading your blog for the last year or so but I don’t think I have ever commented. You shine in your photos! Thank you for sharing, you are beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you so much! It’s definitely hard to accept at times, but as I get older, how I look is less important, than how I live and love. xoxo
      I hope all is well in your life! We finally see the sun, but still a lot of snow here in Minnesota!

      Like

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