I was texting with a beautiful woman today, one I have never met, but I consider her a true friend. She brought up the subject of regrets, of the time wasted by drinking years.
At my slightly older age, (have I mentioned that? LOL), I have learned to let most regrets go. I can see the end of life, and I want to spend the time looking at today and planning forward.
Thinking of the mistakes I made in the past, only help me to make different, better choices today. I can’t stay there, however. It would only hurt me, not help me.
We simply can’t turn back time. It’s gone. In all the studies of older people, the people say what they regret most are not the things they did, but the things they didn’t do!
This is why I am doing things I kept myself from doing when I was overworking. I have to push myself a little, to get past some fear, but it is worth it. Some things are bigger, like traveling a bit more, meeting people I have only met on Twitter or Blogs! Other things are smaller, like staying better connected to people in my life, asking them for coffee, or walks.
A younger AA friend reached out to me and asked me about yoga and recovery. I knew of a teacher who had a recovery yoga workshop, and we went together. We both loved it, and I found out more about her. These are the little things that I am loving to do!
I think it comes down to self-compassion and forgiving yourself. I have forgiven myself for my past. I loved the little hurt Wendy inside, and held her in loving hands. Then she was able to rest.
Rest in love, my dear friends. Rest in knowing, you really are ok, faults and all. After all, who has not made mistakes in the past?
Here are a few self-compassion exercises by Dr. Kristin Neff, that helped me learn to love myself. I hope you find them helpful as well!
Today I just finished volunteering, making kits with Naloxone, a drug that saves people who are overdosing on opioids. Now, I am going to a yoga class, that might be too hard, but I will modify it. Later, will start my packing list, as I am overcoming another fear, one of flying alone, and going to Florida to meet some #RecoveryPosse Twitter friends, some I have never met!
With Too Many Clothes in a Too Big Suitcase,
On Day 1854,
PS – Photos above are from last fall!