My husband has written several times over the course of my recovery. Here is his latest update! I love him so much!
Untipsy Teacher asked me to write a guest post. At first I declined, I had nothing to say. As I thought about that I realized what a wonderful thing to be able to report, “I have nothing to say”. Our life together has gotten to a point where there is no drunken drama, no arguments over how much she is drinking. No worries about her driving after spending several hours over several martinis. What a great feeling to be able to look at our life together today and be happy and to know that Untipsy Teacher is happy. This is a feeling we don’t want to ever take for granted or become lazy in maintaining.
That’s not to say that our life is problem free.
Untipsy Teacher has recently faced several health scares, any one of which could have easily caused her to reach for a drink and would have in the past. Now, she handled each event with determination and strength. She didn’t fall into the old habit of feeling sorry for herself. Instead, she just faced the reality of the situation and dealt with it.
No one’s life is devoid of problems or stress. After several decades of adult life I’ve learned one thing; it’s how we chose to handle that stress that is important. It is a choice we make every time. It can be paralyzing, making us unsure of what to do. We just can’t make a decision, so we do nothing. We need to realize that by doing nothing; we have still made a choice. Some times the hardest part is just facing the problem and taking that initial move to deal with it. That is what Untipsy Teacher has shown me. Throughout these health problems she has just said, “well this sucks, now what do we do about it”, and she moved on.
That’s how I want to look at the problems life seems to throw at us on a daily basis. “Well that sucks, now what do I do about it”. When I had projects at work or at home I would make a list of the problems and the steps needed for a possible solution (yes, I’m very anal that way). It was a good way for me to focus on the problem and break down the solution to manageable steps in a logical progression. (I told you I was anal.) I found that by writing them down I could stop obsessing about them. Beside that, it was a good feeling being able to cross things off that list. The pen was mightier than the sword as I slashed my way through the list. It is freeing.
That is what I see in Untipsy Teacher, a feeling of freedom from her old life. A life in which she was unable to handle stress in healthy ways. Harboring feelings of self-pity, and indecisiveness. Now she handles problems which strength and grace. “Well this sucks, now what do we do about it”.