Today, September 4, I have been sober for four years.
Lately, I have been seeing and hearing about people who have died from alcohol and/or alcohol related problems. Sometimes, I tend to forget how brutal this disease is, partly because I don’t see this in my day to day life.
It usually destroys us slowly. It destroys families, marriages, cars, jobs, financial security, and hope. I was reminded of this again today when in a meeting I heard of several more destroyed lives.
Most of you reading this have seen all the statistics, but for those that haven’t, here are the latest from the CDC.
|On a Hike in Northern Minnesota!|
When I tried to get sober, I looked for hope. I read bloggers who were making it, and I told myself if they could, I could.
If they said life was better, I believed them.
I found real life sober people whose lives were far happier.
I believed them, too. I didn’t know how that would happen, but with time and learning new ways of coping, my life became happier, too!
I really can’t say how I got here, except really one day at a time. I didn’t take that drink today. And a lot of work!
|The trees have to survive on with very little dirt! Mostly rocks!|
For many years, we spend Labor Day weekend, up north with friends, and it is a big drinking weekend. I would often drink way too much, tripping over stones, sneaking drinks behind hubs back, getting moody, and just acting weird. Even last year, when I was 3 years sober, was hard for me.
This year, after writing my last post, I spoke up for myself about my hearing, asking people to repeat or speak up. I told the whole group so they really understood. One of my friend is losing his hearing and agreed with me, which he hadn’t said before. I only once had a wishful feeling of having my wine.
I was almost normal acting, lol, and did not isolate myself. Another friend remarked I seemed different this time, and that she had fun with me.
As there seems to be lessons everywhere in life, what were the lessons I learned this weekend?
If I want to be included I have to ask sometimes.
|Hubs took this one early morning while fishing!|
If someone asks me to join in, I need to do that.
I need to call and ask friends to do something, not wait to be invited.
Nature is my safe place when things get overwhelming, and taking nature photos fills the hole where music was.
Drinking does not help me fit in, it just makes me get depressed.
There is hope.
I know this from all the people in recovery I have met, here, there and everywhere.
On Day 1461, or 4 Years,