“It’s not the world that has changed, it’s me that has changed.” – Heard at a meeting
When I read all the sober bloggers, and think about my friends, family, and myself, I notice one of our underlying human themes is that we are not enough.
We cannot accept who are, always striving for more, wanting more, comparing ourselves, grasping.
I used to be so angry at myself for not being thin, for not being a better teacher, for not having more friends, for not being a better singer, for anything.
I used to not accept who I was.
There were times I hated myself.
It really is only since I have been in recovery for my drinking, going to AA, reading sober blogs, finding a good therapist, and finding a recovery group on Twitter, that I have slowly turned this around. I am learning about self-compassion.
Recovery has allowed me to learn to be kind to myself. This is new to me. After all the hate and anger at myself and my body, I am learning to treat myself nicely. With love.
Recovery has allowed me to focus on what I have, not what I don’t have.
Being grateful is one of the most important lessons I have learned to help me connect with my inner loving spirit.
Recovery has meant I realize I am part of the human race, and all of us suffer. Every human in the whole world has felt rejected, hurt, or have made bad choices.When I forget that, I get focused only on me, my problems, and poor me.
I am learning my negative thoughts are not true. I can observe them, but not believe them.Being kind to myself means I can be kind to other people. Forgiving myself means I can forgive others.
|I Love This Guy!
The world continues on, with good and bad things. People continue to hurt each other, and be kind to each other. Nothing has changed.
But I have.
I do not hate myself anymore.
I am not perfect, but human.I am enough.
With Loving Thoughts,On Day 1,138,