Peace of Mind on Day 583

Some of the beauty we saw.

Dear Readers,
My father-in-law died this week.
We are so grateful he is out of pain. 
Thank you for your lovely comments on my last post. 
Mr. Untipsy said, “Thank you.”

Nothing is better than the peace I have not drinking.
I know I have written about this before, but it keeps coming back to me when I think about drinking.

I have peace of mind that I won’t hurt someone while driving drunk.
I have peace of mind that I don’t have to hurry to find the bottles I hid from hubs before he gets home.
Peace of mind I don’t have to wake up with anxiety and night sweats in the middle of the night.
Peace of mind I won’t have the endless depression cycle of drinking and remorse.
I have peace of mind knowing fights I have with hubs are normal, not alcohol fueled.
Peace of mind that I won’t be causing more drama in my life due to my drinking.
Peace of mind I won’t wake up with a hangover.
Peace of mind that I won’t make a fool of myself at parties and have to call the hostess to apologize the next day.
Peace of mind I don’t have to look to see if I sent any drunk e-mails.
Peace of mind I won’t have blackouts, wondering what I said or did.

If at anytime I think I miss the excitement of drinking, I just need to remember how out of control my life really was. 

I am going to another dinner party tomorrow night with my close couple friends. This is still the hardest time for me. I still have so many memories of drinking with them. I am working on disconnecting those thoughts. It’s the one time I can get to feeling sorry for myself. 


This time, I am going with these thoughts:
I am happy they are my friends. They have 100% supported me through this journey in sobriety.
I am happy we are still sharing good laughs, memories, and good food.
I am happy they can drink.

But most of all, I am happy I will have peace of mind that at the end of night, I will lay my head on my pillow and rest with no regrets.

With Big Hugs,
Wendy

33 thoughts on “Peace of Mind on Day 583

  1. Sorry to hear about your father-in-law. You've done well not to slip back into drinking in this tough week. I know I'm only young, but I often reminisce of phases in my life where I enjoyed myself with friends (or alone). Those fun times were at a high-price to my own well-being and family. I think that's only natural to miss those moments. But whenever you look back on that excitement, rather than focus on how out of control your life was, maybe think about how much you've grown and how well you're doing. Missing those times doesn't mean you want to be in that time, so don't ever let that get you down :). Have fun at your party Wendy!Hugs,Francis

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  2. P.S. I noticed just under your title you've written\”A retired teacher is trying to quit drinking.\”, I would personally say that you've quit, but maybe that would mean a whole new blog haha :p

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  3. Hey Wendy – so sorry to hear about your father in law. I hope you and your lovely hubby are doing ok.On the dinner party – I love that you have a plan and some positive thughts there to drive out the \”poor me's\”. I will try this tactic myself soon. Love, Red xx

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  4. Dear Wendy,Sorry to hear about your father-in-law. My condolences to you and Mr TNM. Congratulations on your 583 days! I love your list with points. Ooh my, the anxiety and the dislike of self. Today a collegue of mine started smoking again during the break after quitting for more than a week. The struggle on his face was, well readable, the disappointment and self hatred :-(. I am very glad I do not have to walk down that road every day again when it comes to alcohol.I am happy that I quit! I am happy that you quit too!! <3xx, Feeling

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  5. Wendy, please accept my condolences on the death of father-in-law. And I sure hear you about the peace of being sober! Sending a big hug to you and your husband. I hope the dinner was a success! xo

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  6. Wendy & Mr Untipsy, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your father in law is at peace now, I know it was hard, but so greatful that you were present & sober to help your husband get thru this difficult time. Sending prayers & hugs to you both xx

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  7. Dear Wendy,I'm so sorry to hear of the death of your FIL. You are doing so wonderfully and your list is very helpful. Nothing is improved by alcohol. Nothing changes for the better.Sending love and hugs to you,Hope you felt the love and support of your friendsClaire

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  8. What a beautiful gift he left the world ..a caring,supportive husband who loves you…that is something to celebrate! Your strength to handle this with both eyes open is a beautiful gift right back to him. Love you both so much.

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