UnTipsy Teacher has asked me to write another guest post. So here goes.
Untipsy Teacher has been sober for over eighteen months now, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. It is easy to accept these changes over eighteen months without really seeing them; they grow gradually day to day and are almost taken for granted. That’s a trap.
I need to stop from time to time and take a look at how far we’ve come and appreciate the accomplishments achieved. Look at how our lives have changed.
All of you married and previously married folks know that being married isn’t exactly a walk in the park. It takes work, but it has become a whole lot easier since we stopped drinking. I don’t get mad at her, yell at her for drinking, getting drunk. She doesn’t yell back about going out for drinks and having fun. Now our worst arguments are nothing compared to the past. We still disagree about important things like the need to go dancing. I’m of the belief that I was not meant to dance or I wouldn’t have been born with two left feet. Besides, no one wants to see an old guy on the dance floor. We compromise and go dancing. I’ve learned that’s called “compromise”, when the husband does want the wife wants. Our disagreements are just disagreements now, they aren’t alcohol fueled battles.
Going out to dinner has become easier over the past eighteen months as well. There isn’t the awkward moment waiting to see if she orders a drink (drinks) or not. Now we just don’t. We’ve even brought along our own bottle of sparkling non-alcoholic cider to restaurants. No server has batted an eye over this or even charged us a corking fee. A lot of restaurants are now listing non-alcoholic drinks on the menu and bar tenders like the challenge of coming up with non-booze based cocktails. UnTipsy makes sure the drinks are served in a “pretty” glass. No water tumbler for her. In other words, we don’t see going out to eat as a test anymore, we just enjoy it. That doesn’t mean it’s easy for UnTipsy but it is becoming more normal. I also like the fact that our bar bill has gone on a starvation diet compared to the past.
When I look at what we as a couple have gained I am truly grateful. We have started going for evening walks again. This gives us a chance to catch up on what happened during our day. Even though I’ve been accused of not being communicative enough, UnTipsy generally can carry the conversational load on her own with ease. We’re planning another vacation trip. Planning for the future. We’ve gone to our first NBA game in fifteen years. She is connecting with friends, exercising. We’re doing stuff, not just sitting in a bar.
There are so many improvements in our day to day lives. I want to make sure I really see them and know they are there. That is something I recommend to all of you. Enjoy your day to day accomplishments. Revel in the little things, they will add up.
So when I look at how far UnTipsy has come in the past eighteen months I really am proud and grateful. I think I’ll go tell her.
With Much Love,
On Day 551,
Mr. and Mrs. Wendy