Blue Skies on 16 Months!

Blue Sky on our Hike

Dear Readers,
Today I have been sober for 16 months!
Yay! 
The sky is so blue today!
The prettiest blue ever!
I LOVE blue!
(Blue is my favorite color, in case you didn’t guess!)

Hubs and I went for a walk Saturday, in a park close to our house. There is a creek that flows even in winter. It has many little falls, and they make delicious sounds. I stand in awe of nature. I love the gnarly oak trees, the snow, the sun, and the clouds. I love them all.

Nine Mile Creek, On Our Hike

They connect me to life.

We walked along the creek and then took the high path, which goes above the park, and gives us another view of the world. It was there I saw a snow eagle! 

Today I am giving thanks to my yoga teacher, my life coach, a Ceremoni.
She was the one of the first people I reached out to when I wanted to finally get sober. She put me firmly on the path of starting my sobriety, helping me work through my loss of hearing, retirement, and all my other issues.
(Of which there are many! So she’ll have a job for life!)

She has been one of my living angels.
I have been struggling with retirement, which might seem odd to some people, but has been hard for me, almost harder than getting sober. 
As I lament over things I “should” be doing, that I should be busier, or doing something more,  and that I can’t seem to find my way, she told me this:

I have two types of needs and wants; quiet and connections. 
My quiet times include writing, alone, home, stillness, tv, reading books, and the internet.
My connection needs include social times, group gatherings, yoga, walks in nature, photos of nature, shopping, sober blogs.

I need and want both.
I can stop the war between the needs.

She is right.
I do need both. Too much quiet time can sometimes be connected to boredom, loneliness, sadness, and depression. Too much social time can sometimes make me anxious, or lonely when I can’t hear.

My Snow Eagle

I used to think I was such a social person, and I am.
But as a child, I was also happy to be reading, or playing by myself.

I know not both of these needs will be balanced every day, and in retirement I find myself needing a few more social times. However, I have been isolating myself a little bit this fall and winter. It’s not just the snow and cold, because I am used to that.
I know that in order for me to make more connections, I need some better habits and some courage. I need to give myself a gentle push on some days.

But today, right now, as the sun is now gone, and dusk is arriving, and I am STILL in my pj’s, I am content.
(Although hubs is coming soon and we are going for a walk, and so I’d better get into action!)

With Love and Much Gratitude,
Wendy
On Day 457

32 thoughts on “Blue Skies on 16 Months!

  1. Nine Mile Creek is my creek also! I have tears remembering all the time I spent there growing up. It was across the back yards. I don't think people realize the truly vast amount of water and nature in the Cities. Eagles were always hanging around. That is the coolest thought around quiet & connections. I hadnt thought of a walk as a connection and I LOVE that! I actually took notes from your post 🙂 16 months is so great! You inspire me. Lori

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  2. I love the two things: quiet and connections. That's such a good way to put it- and I love how walks and yoga are connections, I sometimes think of them as quiet and I can see how that is not quiet because of the being in the outside world, but still quiet because I go into myself then too. I get so tired of the war too! When I'm quiet I bitch at myself that I'm not doing enough, and when I'm busy I bitch that I never have quiet time! Let's all give ourselves a break from that. 🙂 xoxo amy

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  3. Hi Wendy! Congrats on 16 months. The hiking photos are lovely. Finding a balance between being social and connected and having enough time alone is a tricky one for me, too. I like what your teacher said–it goes against the idea that we need to label ourselves \”introvert\” or \”extravert\” when so many of us need both. Isolating sometimes might be part of the balance too, maybe, as long as it doesn't last too too long. That's what I tell myself, anyway! I'm glad you're doing so well. And I'm really glad you're here. xo

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  4. Wendy, beautiful pictures. As always! Great advice. On some days I want more. On some days I want less. We don't need to be at war with our needs and wants. Because it is a war with ourselves. We just need to let life happen.

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  5. beautiful post Wendy, love how you use nature for nature has a wonderful healing energy. Lovely photos to. Realising and understanding our needs for self is such a gift. Congratulations on your continuing sobriety.love Gael

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  6. This is FourStars — I can't figure out how to post on here – haha! Happy 16 months! Love that blue sky this time of year 🙂

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  7. Happy 16 months and 1 week, Wendy, so glad you've made it easy for a \”techno-phobe\” like me to cross blogging platforms :)I really like this idea of needs and wants, and finding the balance of both. I will be reflecting on this today!

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