As I read other blogs, go to meetings, and read more on self-compassion, I am growing a deeper understanding of what it means to be human.
Our emotions are human emotions. We get mad, sad, frustrated, happy, and annoyed.
Everyone makes mistakes. It is part of being human.
But we can help each other heal, no matter what the pain.
We are not alone, even though we often think we are.
We want and need other human connections, people who understand us.
I am finding that as low or depressed as I might feel, if I just reach out, and ask for help, I find other people who can support me. My hurt and pain may be caused by different experiences than others, but it still is human hurt and pain.
I am also finding the less I judge myself, the less I judge other people. The more compassion I have for my human mistakes, I more compassion I have for other people’s mistakes.
I am done punishing myself for not being perfect. I tried so hard to be a perfect teacher.
I am done punishing myself for not trying to save the world. I had an inflated ego thinking I should be doing something more to help the earth or other people.
I am done punishing myself for not walking more, or not eating right.
I am done with words such as “stupid, lazy, dumb, or fat”.
I am done punishing myself for being human.
And so, I no longer want to judge other people for being human.
I got help for my drinking when, after I reached out, other people said, “We know what that is like. We can tell you what helped us.”
There was no judging or shame from them.
They are helping me heal, by sharing their humanness with me.
You, Dear Readers, are a part of my healing.
This, of course, is an ongoing process. The compassion I am showing myself is helping me love other people more.
12 thoughts on “Part of a Whole”
Great post, Wendy. We need to be kinder to ourselves. I am just starting to learn that. I think this also is one of the reasons I decided to quit drinking. It was making me angry, rude and cranky. It was turning me into a person I didn't want to be. I agree with everything you wrote. Beautifully said.
Me too.I was turning into an angry person.Not fun!xo
Lovely post 🙂 I've found that as I become more patient with myself I am more patient with and tolerant of others. Still a work in progress though! Lori K
great post.At the end of the 12 steps in the AA programme is says \”practice these principles in all our affairs\”Took me a while to realise how freeing that was for me – to be honest and loving and caring not just to alcoholics but to all people…However… the problem is other people still don't act or react as I'd like them to. So then I'm reminded of \”progress not perfection\”. So I look for the progress even if perfection is a very very very very long way off!
Love this Wendy! It's so true. We do punish ourselves for not being perfect. If I'm not perfect, I'm insecure. I never really noticed all of this until I got sober and had to come to terms with the fact that I'm not perfect. I'm just doing the best I can. And in reality, most people are just doing the best they can, with what they know…. that's why I do my best to love everyone. Especially now, that I'm learning to love myself unconditionally. Love is the answer.Hugs.You inspire me girl.
Progress is all I am asking of myself these days. xo
Dear Graham,Thank you. Yes indeed to progress! Little itty bitty steps at times and big steps other times!!Hugs!
And you inspire me as well!!xo
Finding self acceptance and compassion has been so huge for me.I truly believe that by treating myself well I am helping make the world a better place. For me. For those I love.Perfectionism was a flaw I hope I have left behind. Brent brown was right. Imperfection is a gift.Anne
Dear Anne,I want to continue my growth in this! Thank you. You are encouraging me to continue on this path!xo
Wendy – this is lovely! Just beautiful. Thank you.Sherry
Thank you, Sherry!As I re-read it, I find myself letting go!XO