Tops and Bottoms

Dear Readers,
Last night I went to a meeting with a delightful woman who met me on-line. She was reading my blog and guessed where I lived, and so we decided to connect in real life.
It is a joy to meet other people who are recovering and are succeeding.
It gives me much hope that I too can make it!

The speaker last night talked about bottoms and tops.
I used to compare my drinking bottom to other people’s.
I wasn’t as bad as them, or I was much worse.
I finally understand, it doesn’t matter.
I am not them, they are not me. 
Comparing my story to other people’s stories, does not help me heal.
In fact, it keeps me feeling either “high and mighty” or “I’m awful”.

The speaker also discussed the tops. She was clearly joyful in her sobriety of two years.
She is doing things she would have never done while drinking.
I continue to discover my top.
I am on a path of growth.
Once again, my top will not be like other people’s.
I can’t compare because it won’t help me grow.
It will just make me feel that “I could be better” or “I am better than them.”

Today I volunteered at the school where I taught, helping another teacher.
I love helping other people. 
If I can make one person’s life a little easier, how great is that!
That is what recovery is all about.
Helping ourselves, sharing our stories, and by doing that, helping other people.

8 thoughts on “Tops and Bottoms

  1. I love that. Comparing ourselves to others never helps. Helping others does give such a nice feeling. Sounds like things are going well! Anne (Ainsobriety)


  2. You're 100% right. Everybody is born with different genetics and have different experiences. It's only fair to compare yourself against yourself and review your own progress because nobody has lived your life or knows what you're going through. A nice quote that comes from Albert Einstein which I try to remind myself of when I'm comparing myself to others is:“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Sounds like you're doing well 🙂 You have my best wishes and I'm proud of you Growing Positive


  3. Hi Wendy,Great post. Stealing your theme, I recently said at an AA meeting that we find our \”top\” here in sobriety and find our \”bottom\” out there drinking. Thanks for always commenting on my blog.Sincerely,Charlie


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