I am in a joyful mood, despite the fact that it never stops snowing, and it’s so cold the icicles are shivering!
Yesterday, my yoga teacher spoke about being yourself.
You can only be yourself, of course, but all my life I wanted to be somebody else.
I wanted to be a famous singer, or a dancer.
I wanted to be that pretty girl, the popular one.
I wanted to be the rich person, the one with a cabin.
I almost never wanted to be me.
In fact there were plenty of times when I hated myself.
Drinking helped me pretend I was someone else, and fueled that self-hate.
When I was drinking at a party, I could pretend I was the exotic singer.
I could pretend I was funny, brilliant, the girl everyone would remember.
Part of my journey getting sober is learning to accept being me.
Even the dark sides of me.
All of me.
I do believe I can be a better wife, friend, aunt, teacher, by being myself.
I can help other people in recovery by sharing my story honestly.
By being a human.
One that loves, laughs, and cries.
What can I give to someone else today?
It is only by accepting and knowing my gifts, can I give.
To all my friends in recovery, I wish you the peace of accepting and loving yourself.