On Christmas Eve day, I had some urges to drink.
I also had a few “I miss champagne” feelings.
Now, I had just finished a hot yoga class and was hungry.
I didn’t have any breakfast, or a snack before I went.
That has been trigger for me in the past.
I just let the feelings go away, and talked my way through them.
I got myself a coffee, did my Christmas pie errand, and came home.
But I have to say, this is the first time in a while where I really missed drinking.
It’s a hard time of year to not drink, with all the parties, dinners, the hustle and bustle.
I know I do not want to drink, but still, those “romantic” feelings linger.
It’s the memories of the times I could moderate, the many times I did enjoy drinking without overdoing it.
Stopping drinking is forcing me to form new patterns of thoughts, words, and deeds.
It’s forcing me to meet all that life offers, without drinking.
Can I be fun at parties, can I overcome my social anxiety, can I deal with stresses on my health, can I just live life as it comes, WITHOUT drinking it away?
I am hoping the answer is yes. It is right now, and that’s all I can do.
(Day 113 or 16 weeks)