Softly

Dear Readers,
I am reading a book by Toni Bernhard, called, How to be Sick; A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers. 

I am reading this book as a way to continue on my path of healing with the loss of hearing music and being able to play my guitar and piano. It is also helping me with how I approach my body as I get older. My body is hurting a lot these days. And it is keeping me from doing some of the things I love. But I am understanding this is part of life. I can do other things! I am adaptable.
I am also learning it’s not all or nothing.
Maybe I can’t play a whole game of golf, but I can play for some of the holes!

Today I am living life softly.

I used to hold on to things so tightly.

I would ruminate for hours.
My feelings would get hurt very easily.
I would over-react to things and events.
I was very hard on myself, and that sometimes made me hard on other people.

One of the great things I have learned in AA meetings and the steps is how to stop thinking only about myself and my problems. I am learning to let go of being so self-centered.
I am learning to live a little bit easier, and let other people live a little bit easier.
I don’t know if I could have learned these things while drinking, as it would have kept me in the “poor me” loop.

To live a life of ease means I stop and think.
I breathe.
I think through what I want to say.
I keep letting go of all the things I have no control over.

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I just pray a simple prayer: 
May I live this day with ease, peace and joy. May I be the best person I can today.
May I spread this day with happiness.”

With Much love,
On Day 616,
Wendy

29 thoughts on “Softly

  1. I can't imagine not being able to listen to music. Sometimes when I'm down, I play loud music and it lifts me up (can't do this at the moment because our CD player is broken!) so I really feel for you. I like the idea of living life softly and with ease. We all try and do too much and feel bad when we can't do it all. Easing off is a great idea. Hope you have a wonderful day and congrats on day 616! A x

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  2. I do like the Buddhist concept of non attachment. I follow A Course in Miracles, and my thought for the day was: I will not value what is valueless. So essentially, anything that doesn't last, like health. (Kind of a difficult task, don't you think?) But it has helped me to steer away from \”stuff\” today and focus on friends and family. Love lasts. I need that reminder. I hope you feel better. ; )

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  3. This is lovely, Wendy. I am so happy for you to have stopped drinking because it seems like you have grown so much and are really finding peace with yourself and the world. I'm really sorry to learn about your health struggles. Is there anything percussion-wise you might be able to possibly play, something where you can feel vibrations? I'm not sure if/how you would be able to connect with others but I am just wondering if there is something out there that would enable you to still make music and be a part of that. Just curious. Maybe you can invent something!:) Happy 617 to you today and much love!<3

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  4. Dear CWD,If you want to, see my post from August 2015, called \”Something Lost, Something Gained\”. It explains my cochlear implant!I was going to sign up for drum lessons but my procrastination got in the way!xo

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  5. This is beautiful, Wendy. I know I never would have escaped that \”poor me\” loop if I hadn't stopped drinking. The book sounds interesting, and the prayer is lovely! xx

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  6. Your morning prayer is much like my own. How fortunate we are to now be able to strive toward fulfilling those prayers of ours, to be our best selves, to spread happiness-an impossible dream when we drank. I so admire you, my friend.

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  7. Hello Wendy, what beautiful, inspiring sentiments – and so softly written! I loved your post so much, I'm going to re-read it, right now. Love to you from over here xx.

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