Below is another post written by Mr. UnTipsy:
A Matter of Trust:
Would I come home and find my wife drunk again? Would I get a call from one of her friends asking about her or expressing concern about her drinking? Would I come home again to find her missing, with no idea of where she was or when she would be coming home?
I lived with these questions and concerns for a number of years, long enough that the feelings and worries became ingrained in my mind.
UnTipsy Teacher has been sober for over fifteen months now. She has worked so very hard and I’m so proud of her strength and determination. She has come so far despite several challenges including some health issues. In the past she would have retreated to a drink or several drinks to “relieve” her stress. Instead, now she faces those challenges straight on with a clear head and a great sense of humor. Did I mention how proud I am? Well I am.
Still, I find myself facing the same old worries from time to time. If she is late returning home from an outing, I may feel a twinge of the old worries. If she isn’t home when I return from work, my old concerns whisper to me, adding a bit of doubt.
Now I want to make this clear; UnTipsy Teacher has done nothing in the past fifteen months to warrant this reaction. She has embraced her new found sobriety and is an inspiration to many of the people who know her.
No, these feelings and unfounded concerns are my fault, and I do my best to banish them as soon as they rear their ugly head. I don’t voice them because they are unwarranted and unfounded. I’m not sure how long these feelings will persist. They have certainly diminished over the past year or so. Yet every so often… there they are.
The fact that uncertainty still remains, shows just how deep the effects of over drinking can extend among friends and family. While my occasional struggle with doubt is nothing compared to the struggle others face as they work to gain sobriety, it is still a hurdle that we face.
Over drinking is a problem that affects those surrounding the drinker as well as the problem drinker. Like a pebble thrown into a pool, the ripples spread. Trust isn’t a right, it must be earned but lost trust can be regained through actions and words of reassurance for both the person in recovery and their loved ones. It doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time.
As the holiday season nears, it is a good time to remember why you’ve decided to stop drinking and recommit yourself to that path. It is also a good time for folks like me to recommit ourselves to helping our loved ones with words of encouragement and trust.
Mr. UnTipsy Teacher
With Love On Day 465