Escaping To My Music Part One

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Dear Readers,

Mr. UT and I had took a wonderful trip up to the North Shore of Minnesota. We were very lucky to see some brillant colors on the leaves! It remided me of a poem I wrote when I was going deaf, and getting used to the differnt sounds of my first cochlear implant. Although it was, and still is painful at times, I have integrated my grief, and now I am so grateful I can hear speech, and every nature sound! Even things I have never heard, like certain bird calls! I love going on hikes and walks with Mr. UT because he is still teaching me what sounds I am hearing! Red squriels scolding us are the best! Waterfalls! Any moving water I can hear so well. It makes me so very happy!

Mantras help me. My current one is below:

“I am thankful for all I have, I am thankful for all the people I love.”

I Sing Red Leaves

There is no music left in my ears,
There are only strange noises, 
That come out of the radio,
Like sticks banging and alien songs.

There is no music in my guitar,
Or piano anymore,
They don’t speak to me in a
Language I understand.

Some days I cry,
Some days I can accept,
That my music lies somewhere else,
That my songs are of a different color.

Not deaf to all,
I hear music of good things,
I hear the beauty of nature,
I hear the sweet touches from my love.

Not deaf to the songs, 
That still sing in my head.

Can I not sing these in gratitude,
To all that I have?

I sing red leaves and blue sky,
I sing love and memories,
Some days I cry,
Some days I say yes.

With Memories of Songs,

On Day 2207,

Wendy

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20 thoughts on “Escaping To My Music Part One”

  5. Beautiful colours to match your beautiful words Wendy. I always appreciate hearing about others experiences and emotions about speech difficulties and hearing impairment. It depends my own knowledge, gives me more empathy and helps me become a better speech and language therapist. Lovely post. Thank you for sharing this. 💕💕

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    1. Claire! I forgot you are trained in speech and language therapy! I had to go as a young child, and no one ever realized I couldn’t hear some sounds, and so couldn’t produce them! Everyone thought I had a lisp, or “talked funny, until I got my implants! Now, my speech is better. Not that I can tell, but Mr. UT tells me!
      xo

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      1. The ability is something we all take for granted and don’t even think about until we can’t, or someone close to us can’t. I’m in awe of your resilience and story. Loved the poem x

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  6. I’m grateful for you, Wendy. And thank you for posting the pictures of the north shore! I’ve been thinking about that place lately. I haven’t been up there all that many times, but I feel the pull and should get in the car and go…..! I’m happy you can hear the nature sounds and have your delightful sound tutor, Mr. UT 🙂

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