Completely Incomplete!

Dear Readers,

I have decided I am completely incomplete! Perfectly imperfect! What’s better than that!

My mom at 94 still loves learning new things, seeing new sights, so even at her age she knows her life is not complete!

I find that people in recovery rarely feel complete, or whole. They struggle, as I do, to find that feeling that they are okay just as they are.

I complete my task of making my bed, but know it will be there again tomorrow, the next day and the next. So I thought, maybe things can be completely incomplete!

So too with us! We can happy we are not done. It lightens my load to know I don’t have to be all put together, to have everything finished, to be totally anything at all.

It’s not possible anyway, but it is a struggle sometimes to accept who I am, knowing I will eat too much sometimes, get lazy sometimes, or be crabby sometimes.

I will never be complete in terms of my learning about life. I only hope I can continue to love myself as an imperfect, incomplete person.

While Sitting in Bed Eating Peanut Butter,

On Day 1803,

Wendy

PS _ Went on our first bike ride after my operations!

21 thoughts on “Completely Incomplete!

  1. It’s difficult for addicts to simply accept how they feel without trying to modify it somehow. I often am sitting at my desk working on homework or even just relaxing, and I’ll get that pang I used to get when I wanted to drink… something is OFF and I need to FIX it. But how? I don’t drink anymore… then I sit with the feeling for a moment and it subsides. It comes up frequently, though.

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  2. Good timing! I had a conversation with one of our friends yesterday wherein I was basically lamenting my lack of perfection. It’s been a life long struggle and I can be so hard on myself. Shame is toxic! So thank you for this reminder. Love, HD

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    1. Oh, I can be so hard on myself!
      Getting older has helped, I don’t know why.
      Shame is the worst!
      But in the end, all I want to known for is,
      Was I kind? Was I helpful? Was I loving?
      These are the things that matter most.
      HD, you are just a joy! You are kind, helpful, and loving!
      xo

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  3. Love this Wendy, and love the photo of you waving at the train. So cute and joyful! 😍The other photos as well. You and your hubs are beauties both.

    1803 days!!!!! Wow. Congrats 🎉🤩

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  4. Hi Wendy,

    I’m so glad to have found your new location. It’s awesome! I’ve been traveling in Europe with the hubby this summer — all sober tho! Yay! And your post is exactly what I needed to hear today. Spot on (as we Brits like to say). Being completely imperfect is A-okay! Thank you from this perfectionist! Great pics! Glad you are feeling better.
    Hugs, Joni – xx
    (18+ months 🙂

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