Lately, I have been re-learning how to deal with all my emotions.
I never really learned as a child, and got stuck in my teenage years.
Almost like I had teenage glasses that colored how I dealt with the world and people as an adult.
Which doesn’t work so well.
Anger, self-pity, resentments, fear, and jealousy are a few of the emotions I am learning to see though my adult eyes.
How do I deal with these very strong emotions without drinking?
How do other people deal with them?
I have noticed that the longer I am sober, the better I am able to handle these emotions.
I have a chance to hit the pause button, and not just lash out or react.
Talking through issues calmly really helps, especially with someone who will listen.
Sometimes I even find the best advice on-line.
I am learning to challenge myself when it comes to these feelings.
I am learning to look a little deeper.
What are they telling me?
I know the negative feelings will pass.
I know I have to sit with them just for a minute.
I don’t have to act on them right away, and maybe not at all.
Not drinking means I don’t act out in the drunken e-mails, crying over the phone, and drunken anger.
I might have to take action on something, but only after my calm has returned.
Comparisons make me feel bad about myself.
I tend to see all that I lack, or wish I was more out-going, or more popular, or a better writer, and on and on. I want people to like me. I know that most of my negative feelings stem from feeling not good enough. I sometimes seek constant reassurance.
On my emotional fragile days, I have a little bit harder time dealing with these feelings.
I come back to gratitude, because that is the one true thing that helps me change my focus from the negative to the positive.
I have so much.
I have a home and a loving husband.
I have a loving family and friends.
Taking positive action is another thing that helps me feel empowered.
If I feel left out by a friend, the best way I feel better is by texting a positive note to another person. Almost instantly, I feel better.
If I find myself always focused on one person, or one situation, it often means I am not living my life. I am living their life.
Volunteering, reading and commenting on sober blogs, are other positive actions that help me feel better about myself.
Self-compassion, self-acceptance, love and reaching out, are the hallmarks of my growth.
This is an on-going learning process, just as learning to stay sober is on-going.
This was my third sober Thanksgiving, and it was wonderful.
We went to my sister’s home, and had a yummy dinner with some of my darling nieces and nephews!
There were ten adults, one baby, and five dogs!
The dogs were so funny! They were running around under the tables, popping up once in while, looking for a little snack.
The really cool thing was, no one talked about political things.
I love my sister and her children, and this was the feeling I chose to focus on.
There was wine, but there were AF drinks as well.
I had no feelings of wanting a drink and so happy I am not drinking.
I didn’t get that yucky feeling of being tired and hungover.
I was downright perky!!
Today Mr. UT and I went for a walk, as it was another gorgeous day here!
With a Warm Heart,
On Day 814,